Finding Happiness In Tragedy
by shiningseraph
Summary: Sora arrives at a new school, and slowly falls in love.  But will his girlfriend from back home keep him from realizing who he truly loves? soraxriku, axelxroxas, and more to come
1. Destiny Island

Finding Happiness in Tragedy

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Also, if you happen to like Kairi, I suggest you not read this fic. She won't be lasting long.

Chapter One: Destiny Island

Sora had just moved to Destiny Island, a warm and sunny place, even if it was small. Much different from the city he had just moved from. It was such a dark, dank place. Even so, it was where all his friends and family were.

He had not wanted to come to Destiny Island. His parents had sent him there to attend DBA, or Destiny Buddhist Academy, a high school revered for its successful graduates. Besides missing his friends and girlfriend, Kairi, the school's tuition was hefty. He felt guilty for the hard work and sacrifices his parents made to send him there.

But as he walked up the wide stone steps leading to large oaken doors, all inhibitions were washed away by the splendor of the school. The architecture was exquisite, and besides (and more importantly than) the high aesthetic value of the place, the other student were friendly and welcoming. Already there had been students his age and older that had said hi and even offered to show him around the school. Being shy, he had declined all their kind offers. And besides, he had to get the information from the front desk, find his dorm, and where all his classes were going to be.

Going through the doors, he easily spotted the door to the office in the well lit, clean hallway. To the right, students were being tutored by teachers and peers; to the left, a long line of classroom doors waited. He walked to the office and sat in one of the chairs. Scientific and political magazines were strewn across a small coffee table. Sora glanced at the man talking to the office lady, who contrary to most office ladies was young and pretty. The man was in fact an older student, maybe a senior. He had pretty silver hair that hung down to his broad shoulders. He was very handsome, and had the most beautiful aqua eyes he had ever seen. This made Sora suddenly remember the girlfriend he had left behind. She hadn't wanted to break up with him, even though they could only see each other during the breaks Sora had, which were few and far between. He missed Kairi, but took comfort in the fact that they could still talk on the phone and write letters.

The office lady brought him out of his reverie.

"Hello? Did you need something? Sorry for the wait." Sora smiled and stood up.

"Yea, hi. I'm Sora Asato. I need my student information please." She turned around and bustled through a large file cabinet.

"Oh, one of the incoming freshmen! Alright, here you are. There's a map of the campus, where your dorm is located, you class schedule, and some other information you'll need. Make sure not to lose that, ne?" Sora nodded and thanked her, turning and walking to the study area he had seen earlier. It was now devoid of people, so he took a seat on one of the side tables and looked through his information. He decided that he should find his dorm first. His baggage should be inside, he was told. He wanted to unpack and get comfortable as soon as possible. Maybe even meet his roommate whom he would be living with for the next year, possibly longer.

Sora left the building and walked along the path leading to the freshmen dorms. He could see it in the distance, a gray stone building covered on one side with a massive flower garden. All the exotic flowers of Destiny Island were in full bloom, and their sweet scent drifted toward Sora on a light breeze. He blithely continued on the path, his mood set by the striking surrounding. He could even hear the sea, as the coast wasn't far from that part of the campus.

His carefree attitude came to a crashing halt, however, when he found that his luggage was laying in front of the locked door to the freshmen dorms. Confused, he tried knocking on the door, then looking through the window, but could see no one to come to his rescue. He eventually decided, after minutes of careful debating, that he should leave his things where they lay and go back to the office, to see what was up. Soras quickly stomped back to the office, letting his anger come out in his footsteps. The office lady quickly looked up and gave him a perplexed look, easily seeing through the fake smile Sora gave her. "Umm. I just walked to the freshmen dorm, and all of my things were outside. The door was locked." He looked at her expectantly. She better have a good reason for this treatment.

"Ohh. Your name is Sora? That's right… because you registered late, the freshmen dorm was all filled up. So you are going to spend this year in the junior dorms. There happened to be one space open over there. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier." She gave him a sheepish grin. Suddenly a boy about Sora's age came out from behind the files, a huge stack of paperwork in his hands.

"Roxas, could you show Sora to the junior Dorms? Here's the dorm number. Thanks."

The boy set down the paperwork on an already cluttered desk. He smiled warmly and introduced himself to Sora, then led Sora out the door and down a path cattycorner to the one leading to the freshmen dorms. After a few minutes of small talk, Sora learned that Roxas was also a freshman, but had lived on Destiny Island all his life. His elder brother had also gone to DBA, and he was working in the office to help pay off his tuition. Roxas asked Sora where he was from, and was really interested in what the big city was like,

"How tall are the buildings? Can you walk to the beach from your house? Oh! You live in an apartment? How cool." He had never been away from his small hometown let alone off the island. Soon they came to what looked like a small mountain that dropped off into a cliff. The beach was right there, but the junior dorms were nowhere to be seen. Puzzled, Sora asked Roxas where they were. The latter grinned.

"You can't see them yet, Sora? I didn't know you were blind…" Roxas pointed to the foot of the steep hill. Lo and behold, tall doors similar to those on the main building were built right into the mountain.

"Hey, how could I have known I would be living in a mountain?" Roxas giggled, and Sora joined in. Windows in the mountain seemed to appear out of nowhere on the mountainside, and a few balconies had also been built into the cliff.

Roxas held open the door for Sora, who walked inside and stared in wonder. The interior was reminiscent of an old pirate ship. To the left were a kitchen, dining room and lounge, and to the right was a study area similar to that in the main building. A staircase had been carved from the stone, leading to the rooms upstairs. At the end of the hall was a wide balcony leaning over the edge of the cliff, straight over the ocean. Roxas led Sora up the stairs to the end of a wide hallway.

"And this will be your room. I'm not sure who your roommate it, but most everyone here is nice. I'll have someone drop off your luggage as soon as I can. And if you have any questions, come to me. I doubt Aerith will be of much help." Sora unconsciously tilted his head to one side, a questioning look in his cerulean eyes.

"Aerith? Who?"

"Oh, that's the office lady that failed to help you earlier." With that, Roxas said goodbye. "I need to get back to work. Remember to stop by and say hi!"

Sora was free to roam around. The dorm was fairly small compared to what he was expecting. He guessed only about 30 students lived here, which would be about right. After all, there were only about 110 students in the school. He walked downstairs again, looking at pictures of former students hanging on the wall. They seemed to be more of a family than students. Sora liked that. He walked out on the balcony, and seeing nobody, decided to peer out over the open ocean. It was really beautiful; he had had nothing like this at home. The air smelt fresh and salty here; the air was humid and foul at home. He was comfortable here, and rather liked the change.

Sora stared into the waves, watching them swell and crash on the rock below. He began to miss Kairi again. And it had only been a few days since he last saw her. He wondered how he could get through months without seeing her. As if mirroring his thoughts, dark clouds formed above Sora's head. A drop of rain landed on his cheek, bringing him out of his trance. Sora went back inside just as a heavy downpour began. He realized that it was already 6:00, and although it wasn't too late, the day's events, along with being emotionally exhausted made Sora slowly climb up the stairs and curl up in his bed. Soon he was fast asleep, the storm still raging away outside.

Thank you for reading this chapter. The second will be coming soon. And remember, I appreciate comments and opinions. ;D


	2. New Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Two: New Friends

Sora was startled awake from a loud thud I close proximity to his head. He heard a silky, albeit irritated voice above him. He slowly opened his eyes and started listening to the voice.

"…are you bags. I had to get them for you and miss dinner. Won't you even thank me? I'd appreciate it if you would at the very least remove yourself from my bed." Sora groggily rose and walked to the other bed in the small room, which he promptly plopped down upon. He sleepily batted his eyes and smiled, oblivious to the condescending tone in his roommate's voice.

"Hello. My name's Sora. Who are you?" His roommate's eyes were piercing, and he had the same hair as the boy in the office.

"My name is Riku. If you can manage to get yourself downstairs in 10 minutes, I'll heat us up leftovers from dinner. To let you know, it's at 7:00pm every night." With that, Riku turned and briskly left the room. Sora quickly dug through his bag and found a change of clothes, then rushed downstairs to help Riku with the cooking.

When he got there, Riku was already eating. There was a bowl across from him. Sora sat down and dug into his food with gusto, but, after a minute, noticed there were no meatballs to go along with the spaghetti. He looked at Riku.

"Where are the meatballs?" Riku looked up from his food.

"I'm a vegetarian. And I'm not going through the trouble to heat that up too. It's disgusting." Sora nodded and stared at Riku, who it seemed was intent on finishing his food as fast as possible. Glancing up, Riku caught Sora wistfully staring. His eyebrows came together, and he went at his food a little faster than before. Sora blushed and began eating again. He always seemed to get caught up in his thoughts. Riku seemed intelligent, and was the most beautiful person Sora had seen, even though he was a man. Riku finished his food and dumped the dishes in the sink, going back upstairs without saying anything else. Wanting to get to know his roommate, Sora gulped down the rest of his food and followed Riku.

He was sitting on one of the lounge chairs studying a book. Sora sat down in the chair next to his and gazed about the room. The walls were painted a periwinkle blue, and all the furniture was wooden. There was a huge window over looking the ocean, but the curtains were drawn to keep out the flash of lightning. There was a large rug in the centre of the room, a desk and bookshelf to one side. And two doors; one leading to the bathroom and the other leading to the bedroom. It was a cozy place, and Sora felt quite comfortable at once. His gaze settled on the elder boy, who once again was unsettled by such a steady stare.

"What is it you want?" A tone of pleading laced Riku's voice. It was obvious he was not used to having people around.

"Well, I thought it would be nice if I could get to know you, seeing as how we're gonna be living together for this next year." Sora smiled cheerfully. Riku put down his book on the table and turned to face Sora, a look of annoyance flashing upon his face for a moment.

"So, you want to get to know me? Alright. I like privacy. I don't like talking. I like to be left alone. I don't like loud little boys. I think that's all you need to know about me. Goodnight." With that, Riku stood, picked up his book, returned it to its place on the shelf, and walked into the bedroom. Sora was crestfallen, to say the least, that his roommate seemed to dislike him so much so soon. He waited for 10 minutes before going into the room to see Riku asleep, turned toward the wall. Sora fished his toothbrush and toothpaste from his bag, took a shower, and went to bed. His first day at Destiny Buddhist Academy was finished.

The next morning Sora awoke to the cacophonous sound of an alarm clock. He rolled over, wondering why he was being forced to wake up at such an ungodly hour. Who in their right mind wakes up at 6:30am? Then he remembered: it was to be his first day of actual classes. He got out of bed and saw that Riku was already in the bathroom. He got dressed in his uniform and came out of the room just as Riku left the bathroom. "Breakfast is at 7:00. You should hurry." Sora hurried through his attempt to brush his milk chocolate hair and rushed downstairs. The tables were filling up as people got their breakfast. He waited in line for his, and then searched the room for Riku. He was sitting at the end of a table, friends surrounding him. Sora rushed over to snag the spot right next to Riku.

"Good morning Riku." Upbeat and happy as ever, Sora smiled and looked around at the older boys.

"So Riku, who's your little friend?" A tall boy with spiky red hair and black eyeliner asked.

"He's pretty cute" added a shorter blond.

"A little _too_ young for you, don't you think? Hehe." The red-head teased Riku, who shot him a death glare.

"This is Sora, my new roommate. Sora, Axel, Demyx, Malruxia, and that quite one is Zexion."

"Hi everyone" Sora greeted the bashfully. He wasn't used to being the centre of attention in front of new people. And he wanted to make a good impression. They were Riku's friends, after all. Axel started up the conversation, asking the regular questions; where he was from, why he chose that school. Demyx joined in. Both of them seemed really nice, much friendlier than Riku had been. And Malruxia even offered to show Sora his flower garden, which earned a few raised eyebrows from the other boys.

Soon breakfast was over, so Sora said goodbye to Riku's friends, ran upstairs to get his books, and then walked out of the dorms. Outside, he found Roxas waiting for him.

"Hey Sora! I thought since we have most of the same classes, we could go together."

"Oh, we do? Great, I'm glad I know someone. I get really nervous when I don't" Sora blushed as he admitted this. But Roxas didn't seem to hear him. Instead, he was staring at someone as they walked by. Or rather, at their ass.

"Riku is the sexiest man alive." Roxas was overcome with the other's beauty.

"He's my roommate."

"Are you serious? You are so lucky. There are so many guys who would kill to share a room with him." Sora was dumbstruck.

"Really? I guess he is good looking, but its not like he's really friendly or anything. And he's a guy." Roxas giggled.

"That wouldn't stop me…"

Sora followed Roxas to the main building and up to their first class: English. Then came math, a half hour break, Buddhist History, and Chemistry.

Sora got through the day fairly well, but was exhausted by lunch. He was looking foreword to the free hour. Roxas had promised to introduce him to his friends, who were also freshmen.

So when the bell finally rang, Sora jumped up from his seat and grabbed Roxas by the hand, practically dragging him out the door. Once out in the hall, however, he had no idea where the cafeteria was.

"Okay, Roxas. Time for you to lead the way. I'm starving!"

"Jeeze, slow down a little!" Roxas laughed. Sora impatiently followed him to the lunchroom. It was large and grand, reminding him more of a high class restaurant than a cafeteria. The ceilings were high, each table had a tablecloth and hardwood chairs. A huge chandelier hung from the oval room.

Sora stared around him in awe, until Roxas led him to the huge buffet of gourmet food. Sora didn't hesistate to pile his plate high with food until other people started to take notice. Roxas wondered how such a petite boy could eat so much.

"Sora, over here. Meet Hayner, Olette, and Pence. They're from Twilight Town too. We've been friends ever since… kindergarten, right guys?"

"Yea. So you're Sora, huh? Nice to meet you" Hayner said, eyeing Sora. They all sat down at the table and began talking. Sora felt like he had known them for forever; he fit right in. but after a while, Sora drifted off into his own thoughts.

"Hey. You there?" Olette questioned, waving a hand in front of his blank face.

"Sorry. Have you guys ever had the feeling that you thoughts are louder than the people talking to you?"

"Ahh. No." The other four looked at him strangely.

"What were you thinking about anyway?"

"I was wondering where Riku was. I'd like to say hi to him…" Roxas laughed at Sora.

"Well, he and his buddy Axel been staring at you ever since they sat down." With that, Roxas pointed behind Sora, to where Riku and Axel quickly looked away.

"Or maybe, just maybe, Axel wasn't looking at Sora. maybe he was looking at you, Roxas" Hayner teased. Roxas blushed furiously.

"No way. I have no idea what your talking about" Roxas humphed.

"Do you mind if I go over there?" Sora asked. They didn't mind, thinking it was cute how Sora was trying so hard to be friendly when Riku was obviously not looking to make a new friend.

Sora stood and made his way slowly, somewhat bashfully, to the seat across from Riku and sat down. After a few moments of silence, and awkward glances from Riku, Sora decided he would have to say something.

"Hey Riku. Ummm. How's lunch?"

"The same old stuff."

"Don't be so hard on the kid, Riku. He's trying really hard to be nice" Axel put in.

"Humph"

"Anyway, Sora. You can talk to me, not Mr. Grumpy-pants over there." Axel smiled. Sora nervously returned the smile, wondering if coming over to say hi had been such a good idea. Now he was stuck talking to Axel, who creeped him out a little. Who wore eyeliner at school anyway? Luckily, the bell rang, and Roxas came to retrieve Sora and bring him to the next class. Botany.

Okay Second chapter done! Hehe. I'm probably more proud of myself than is warranted.


	3. Strong Determination

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter Three: Strong Determination

"I'll come and meet you here after I'm finished with class, alright? I have culinary arts next, but it's only right across the way. See you later" Roxas waved to Sora, leaving him to fend for himself. Sora walked through an arch leading into a circular garden. This class was held in a small gazebo to one side of the campus. Sora sat down in one of a dozen some lawn chairs, and waited. As student began to fill in around him, the professor introduced himself.

"I am Professor Vexen. Besides this class, I teach science to the upperclassmen. And this," he gestured toward an older student, "is Marluxia. Although only a junior, he has extensive experience with plants." Sora recognized Marluxia as one of Riku's friends, the one who offered to show him his garden. He had no idea a student could, or would be so involved with something like plants. It seemed pretty boring to Sora, who preferred sports.

The class crawled along, going slower than Sora would have liked. It was so boring… and he was so tired… Sora didn't even notice himself drifting to sleep. Nor did he attempt to stay awake. Had he known the consequences, he would never have done so.

When the bell rang, Sora awoke, his vision muddled as much as his brain. Until a large hand slammed down on the desk in front of him.

"Who do you think you are, coming in here and falling asleep on the first day? DBA will not stand slackers like you. I will not stand people like you. If this ever happens again, I assure you, Asato. You will no longer receive the honor of attending this prestigious school. And more than that, you will be shamed." Professor Vexen glared down onto Sora, eyes burning holes into the younger one's. Only after the professor walked away did Sora begin to shudder. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he sat for a few minutes after the other students had left, attempting to regain his composure. No one had ever been so rude and condescending to him before.

When he was ready, Sora rose and walked out of the gazebo, unaware that Marluxia had watched the whole scene. Stopping outside the arch, Sora looked for Roxas, and found him across the courtyard. Talking to Axel. For a minute, Roxas didn't even notice anything besides the fiery boy. When he finally did notice Sora, he gave him an anxious look. Sora got the hint. He would go on to Gym without Roxas.

Sora made his way to the lockers and changed into his gym clothes. He waited with Hayner, who was also in that class. With only three minutes till class was going to start, Roxas was very close to being late.

"Do you know where Roxas is? He's not usually late like this…"

"I saw him talking to Axel"

"Oh, you mean that junior? I hope he knows what hes getting himself into." suddenly Roxas rushed into the locker room, his face flushed from running.

"So, back from chatting with you boyfriend, huh?" Roxas blushed furiously at Hayner's teasing.

"No way. We're just friends." Hayner and Sora laughed. But Sora wondered if Roxas would actually do that. They were both guys after all. That kind of thing would never happen where he had lived before.

Suddenly a tall man walked into the locker room. Sora could feel his presence before he had even said anything; a hush fell over the boys. He wide shoulders and long silver hair. He looked uncannily similar to how Riku would look if he were older. In truth, they looked like brothers.

"Hello everyone. I am Sephiroth, your gym teacher. Please come out to the gym." The man had a silky-smooth voice that resonated deep in his throat. Despite the masculinity that practically radiated from him, he had grace in his step, giving him a foreign gorgeousness. Sephiroth could only be described as magnificent.

The group followed him out the door, where they watched older student spar with swords.

"Some of you will reach their level by the end of the semester. Most of you will never make it that far. But to start, I want all of you to watch me first, and then copy each of the positions as I move through them." With that, Sephiroth moved into the first position, and all the boys watched his body attentively.

By the end of that period, Sora was sweating even though he was just holding simple poses. Sephiroth had not broken a sweat, yet another thing to admire him for. Supreme physical strength. When the bell rang, Sora hung around with his new friends before they went their separate ways.

The dorm was nearly empty when Sora walked in, as many of the older students had to attend clubs and other after school activities. Sora dragged himself up the stairs and took a shower; he hated feeling dirty after exercising. He was walking down the stairs just as Marluxia was walking up,

"Hey, Sora. You gonna take me up on my offer to look at my garden? Its really pretty, especially in the evening." Marluxia smiled.

"Sure! Is now okay? I don't have anything else to do" and with that, Sora followed his elder out the door and to the side of the cliff. Marluxia had tamed a honeysuckle vine which grew now up the side of the cliff. A multitude of poppies, daffodils, violets, and other flowers grew on a huge plot. A small bird bath sat in the middle under a birch sapling. Sora walked along the path, amazed.

"These are all flowers from home!" he exclaimed. He didn't realize how he had missed his home until now; all the foliage on Destiny Island was tropical.

"I love it"

"You can come here anytime you'd like. Usually it's off limits, because," and here his voice got louder, "_certain_ people I know _trample _on _my_ flowers!" Marluxia turned around to face a sheepish Demyx waiting outside the garden.

"Marluxia, it's our turn to cook dinner. You better hurry up!" With that, the short blond ran back to the dorm.

"I better go, Sora. But one more thing. Don't let Vexen scare you. He's just not used to a student not giving him full attention and respect. He's all bark and no bite. You'll have no problem, kiddo." Marluxia ruffled Sora's hair in a brotherly manner. It felt nice to have someone watching over him. He felt lucky to have so many friends here. But something still felt missing… he couldn't tell if it was the absence of his girlfriend, or his rejection by Riku. He tried to be friends, but it wasn't working… both pains melded together, an acid that was slowly burning a hole in his heart.

Sora walked back to the dorm before he could sink any lower in his depression. It was already 6:00, and he had to study for the SAT prep vocabulary list from English class. Up in his room, he swung his legs over one of the chair arms, and leaned back on the other. Sighing, he began to study the vocabulary. Just then, Riku walked in the door. He was sweaty, and his hair slightly damp. Sora gave him a funny look on account of his appearance, but Riku took no notice.

"Where did you go to get all sweaty like that?"

"Didn't you see me? I was there the whole time you were working on fighting stances."  
"what?" Sora didn't know Riku had been there. "Ok, but why are you sweaty?"

"…"

"oh." Sora finally realized Riku had been part of the small group that had been sparing.

"I learn under my half brother, Sephiroth. He graduated from this school when he should have just been entering high school, and has always done well at everything he chooses to do. And now he's back from collage, as a teacher. He's actually only a year older than I." There was a trace of bitterness in his voice. Sora tried to think of something comforting to say, but Riku had already turned and gone into the bathroom.

Sora was able to study in peace until Riku came out of the bathroom. Riku's hair was dripping wet, a sheet of silver. He only had a towel around his wait, showing off his tall, slender form. Sora couldn't take his eyes off him.

Half an hour later, Riku came out of the bedroom.

"Come on, its time for dinner." And this time, he waited while the younger boy put his papers away.

Sitting in the dining room, Sora looked at the food in front of him. He wasn't sure what it was, and was a little nervous about eating it. Soon, however, the conversation took his mind off the unappetizing food.

"The weathers been horrible lately. Raining all day like this. I want to go to the beach" complained Demyx.

"It is winter. Stupid." Zexion stated.

"It's still not normal, with the thunder and everything. I could hardly sleep last night." The conversation continued on. Sora felt right at home, for that moment, surrounded by interesting people, whom he liked. He noticed Riku had been silent the whole time. Ever since he talked about his brother. Sora could understand how Riku must feel about it. He wondered how deep it had hurt Riku. Sora decided determinedly that he would show Riku just how great he thought he was, even compared to his elder brother.

Sephiroth will be showing up again soon 3 hehehe


	4. Presents

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 4: Presents

Dinner was soon over, and he decided to go back up to his room to read a little. The last few days had been hectic, and Sora was still trying to catch up it seemed. The rain had abated to a soft drizzle. Then, he heard through the walls someone practicing on their sitar. It was Demyx, he knew, was learning. But the way he played, it seemed more like he was a master. Sora could tell if music was good by the emotions it brought out in him.

Sora recognized the song Demyx was playing. At first he couldn't remember from where, but then it all came flooding back to him.

_Sora walks into the restaurant, Kairi holding his hand. They were seated at once, on a smaller table by the window. Kairi looked out and admired the beautiful view of the city lights. A candle in the middle of the table lit her hair and face up, making her even more pretty. The quartet started playing a slow, sweet song. And Sora asked her if she would go out with him._

Demyx was playing that same sweet tune, slowly as he had heard it those years ago. Sora unconsciously wiped the tears that formed in his eyes. He picked up the phone and dialed Kairi's number.

"Sora?!? Hey!"

"Hey Kairi! I really miss you."

"I miss you too. How have things been going?" Sora babbled away for a while, not even noticing how Kairi quickly lost interest.

"… So, what have you been doing?"

"Oh. You know. The same old things." Sora wondered what they were. Before he had left, she had done all the usual things with him. Go get ice-cream, take the train to the beach for a day. She couldn't be doing that alone.

"Sora, I have to tell you that…" Sora could hear someone calling to her in the background. He could tell she wasn't at home, but couldn't figure out where she actually was.

"Sorry, I have to go. See you later."

"Bye, I love you"

"Yea, bye." She was acting so strange. He had wanted comfort, and it didn't even seem like she had really been interested in anything he said. This made him feel even worse, and embarrassed. He had only been gone for a little while, and he missed her like crazy. But she didn't miss him at all. She hadn't even bothered to say she loved him.

Sora dejectedly hung up the phone and turned around in the chair, to see Riku looking at him. Sora's cheeks turn a bright pink, and he tires to hide the fact he's been crying.

"Don't cry over girls. They aren't worth it." Sora looked at Riku, surprised at his words. What could bring him to say something like that? Something terrible must have happened.

Sora picked himself up and walked over to his bed. He took off his shirt and flopped into bed, waiting for sleep to overcome him. Waiting for his one sanctuary.

Weeks went by, then weeks turned into months. Sora's phone calls to Kairi didn't get more encouraging. In fact, they were worse. She wouldn't say she loved him, and only reluctantly did she say she missed him. But Sora couldn't accept that she was moving on from him, that she didn't want to make a long distance relationship work.

Besides his disappointment in Kairi, everything at school was going just fine. It was a week till Christmas break, and everyone was in a festive mood. The juniors (and Sora) had decorated their small dorm with tinsel, and they had even bought a small Christmas tree, which was rare on Destiny Island. The boys had decorated it, putting strings of tiny fairy lights and Christmas ornaments on the tree. Instead of a star, Zexion had insisted that they put up an angel he had made. It was beautiful.

Sora was getting along better with Riku too. They would study together in the evenings, and Riku would spar with Sora to help him hone technique. Sora was one of the best in his class, and Sephiroth worked him extra hard because of it.

The boys took Saturday off from school work. Some went into town, while others stayed to hang around. Tonight was a special night for Sora. It was he and Riku's turn to cook dinner for everyone. Because Sora could hardly manage to make anything besides an ice-cream Sunday (and even then, he used the sea salt flavor. Eww), Riku had decided they would make spaghetti, the same as on the night Sora first came to DBA.

They were in the kitchen at 5:00. Sora complained about not being able to go out with Roxas and the guys (and Olette), but Riku had made him promise to come and help make dinner.

"Because I'm counting on you, Sora." He had been incredibly happy when Riku told him that, getting butterflies in his stomach.

But now, as Riku got all the ingredients out and told Sora what to do, he really wished he could just watch instead. Mishap after mishap occurred, but Riku never got angry, and Sora was thankful for it. First he spilled the pasta on the floor, and when he finally managed to get it to boil, he dropped the steaming hot water all over the floor because the handle was too hot. After this was cleaned up, Riku had him chop tomatoes for the sauce. Sora eventually cut his finger and had Riku run and get a Band-Aid for him.

"Riku, can you kiss it? It'll make my finger better." Riku gave him a half amused, half questioning look before raising Sora's hand to his lips and lightly kissing his finger. Sora blushed, which made Riku grin. Riku actually found Sora extremely cute, even sexy at times. But he would never tell or let the young boy how attractive he was. That would require his pride be disregarded.

Dinner ended up being 10 minutes late, and grumpy Axel didn't want to wait. He complained and complained until Riku shut him up.

"Your just like this cause Roxas went to the beach and you couldn't go with him!" Axel turned as scarlet as his hair, but didn't deny it. Everyone congratulated Sora and Riku on dinner. Afterwards Sora and Riku made their way upstairs together, and just as they walked in the door, the phone rang.

"hello?" Riku answered.

"Yea, its me." Riku made a face to Sora, indicating it was his girlfriend. Sora knew how Riku felt about her, and even though he advised Sora just to end it and break up with her, he wouldn't do it. And so even though he disapproved, Riku supported the boy as best he could.

"Sora, are you coming to visit over winter break?"

"Yea, I've been looking forward to seeing you, Kairi."

"Oh, cause my friend invited me to come stay at his place for a while, and so I wont be there the first couple of days you are. Just wanted to let you know. Bye." And with that, she hung up. Riku could tell right away where the conversation was heading, and when Sora gently put down the phone, Riku tightly embraced the slender boy. Sora sobbed into his chest and brokenly retold what she had said.

"Shh, I'm here for you, okay? It'll be alright." Sora just grasped onto him tighter, and cried harder until he felt there was nothing else left; he felt empty. He would have been swept away by tears, except Riku was there to keep him safe. Riku slowly guided him into the bedroom and laid him down on the bed. He sat there until he was sure Sora was asleep, and then silently stood and undressed and went to sleep himself.

The day before Sora was set to leave, he got up early and pounced on the still sleeping Riku.

"Wha- what is it? Sora?" Sora bouned around a little more.

"I got you something, since I wont be here on Christmas. D'ya wanna open it now?!" Riku, even in his half-asleep state, could tell how exited Sora was.

"Yea!" Sora grinned and handed him a present, Santa print with green velvety ribbon. Riku shook it a little, but didn't hear anything. And the box was light. Curiosity got the best of him, and he slowly undid the ribbon and tried to unwrap the present without tearing the paper.

"Come on Riku, this'll take all day!" But Riku ignored it, and kept going till he got to the box. And inside was… a purple elephant? It had cute overalls and a little pocket.

"I know from experience that it's easier to sleep when you have someone to be there all night." Sora had multiple stuffed animals that he kept on his bed, and once, Riku had told Sora he hadn't ever had a stuffed animal before. It was so sweet, and Riku loved it. Sora could tell from the giddy, silly smile Riku had on his face, like a little kid.

"You know, Sora, I have a present for you too." Sora was surprised, and then happy.

"Let me open it, ne!" Riku smiled and pulled out a little box from under his bed. It was wrapped in silver paper with a thin red bow. Sora opened it, more quickly than Riku had his. Inside was a tiny silver paupu fruit on a delicate chain. Sora gasped at the beautiful present. Riku picked it up and put it around Sora's neck. It almost brought Sora to tears. They hadn't started off to well, but now… now they were close. Sora admired Riku, was always happy around him.

But their sweet moment was broken by the smell of breakfast and the rumble in Sora's tummy.

Wohoo the fourth is done! Please review, and tell me what you think!


	5. Plunge Into Depression

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Warning: Contains… scenes of a sort. You know what I mean.

Chapter 5: Plunge Into Depression

Later that day, Sora was up in his room packing clothes and other things he thought he might need on his trip back home. Then he realized how silly this was, how he had all he would need at home. Even though he wouldn't be seeing Kairi the first few days of vacation, she would be home on Christmas Eve. Even though she had been increasingly strange when she was talking to him, disinterestedly almost, he was as exited as he had been about Christmas when he was only 5 years old. Riku had told him earlier, reproachfully, that he should realize just how rude she was to him. But Sora couldn't help himself.

The phone rang. Sora jumped up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sora, its Tidus. Listen, I think there's something you should know." Sora completely missed the tension in Tidus' tone of voice.

"Tidus! I've missed you! Yesterda" Tidus cut Sora off.

"This is important. Sora, its about Kairi." Suddenly Sora went silent.

"Selphie just told me that Kairi told her about a guy she's seeing. She's playing you Sora. Fooling around while you're gone, and she doesn't plan to break up with you. You know that friends house she's been staying at? That's him. I'm sorry Sora; I just had to tell you…"

"I'm gonna go now…" Sora ran blindly, tears in his eyes, to he knew not where. He fell, and couldn't get up. And so, he lay there crying, oblivious to rain and time. Emotionally spent, he passed out; oblivious to rain and time.

Hours later, when Sora didn't show up for dinner and hadn't come back to the dorm, Riku decided he would search for the boy. He left the dorm and first looked around the school, but couldn't find him anywhere. After an hour, Riku decided to go back to the dorm to see if Sora had gotten back while he was gone. Riku desperately hoped that this was the case, but was soon disappointed. He left again, his open almost gone.

"Mnnmnn…" Riku's heart jumped, listening to the moaning. He kept walking, and it got louder. He started running, through a garden, and found Sora slumped over by a birdbath. Riku gingerly picked him up, his body limp. Riku brought him back to the dorm, careful not to knock the boy's head when going through the doorway. Riku tenderly set him down on the bed and took his wet clothes off. He tried not to look at anything, but Sora's wet naked body shone in the moonlight, attracting his eyes. His shoulders, nape, smooth chest, slightly rippled stomach, tight legs, and… he looked away again. A warm feeling at the bottom of his stomach was growing, and he knew he couldn't feel that way about Sora. The brunette was so sweet and innocent… he would feel so guilty for even just looking. Riku brought up the sheets over the sleeping boy, trying not to touch his skin.

Riku went to the bathroom and locked the door. The sight of Sora's body and the feelings it brought were too much. His body had reacted, and now an almost painful erection was trapped in his pants. Riku undid his pants and let them drop to the floor. Pictures of Sora flashed before his lust-clouded eyes as he grasped himself. Starting slowly, he moved his hand along his length. The guilt soon melted away as need consumed him. He pumped it harder, faster. Sweat gleamed on his back. Suddenly he threw his head back as he came, loudly moaning Sora's name.

The next morning Sora awoke, stark naked beneath the sheets. He blushed, and then remembered what had happened last night. The phone call, the pain. The broken love. He turned to see Riku still asleep in his bed. Sora knew it must have been him that found him. Riku had said that Kairi was no good, that he deserved something better, something that was at the very least, real. Sora had always smiled and denied the state of his relationship. But he now knew he must tell Kairi not to bother to visit him during Christmas. She should stay with whoever her new toy was. Sora drifted back to sleep, grateful that Riku cared enough to go to the trouble to keep him safe.

Later that morning, Sora awoke while Riku was dressing.

"Thank you for…last night." Riku didn't look at Sora, his guilt at the lust he felt returning.

"What happened? I found you passed out in Marluxia's garden."

"Yesterday Tidus called. He told me that Kairi is seeing someone else. And I… it really hurt." Riku turned now and gave Sora a quick hug.

"Don't think about her. Okay? She doesn't matter anymore." Riku felt a deep jealousy laced with hatred. The girl had not only taken but broken Sora's love.

"Well, we better get going. Class is going to start. We missed breakfast." The boys left, both hurling themselves into schoolwork to erase emotion and memory.

Later, Sora called and confronted Kairi. At first she denied everything and said she would never do something like that. Then she tried, for a moment, to ask forgiveness. And finally, she yelled at Sora for his supposed faults and hung up. It was bitter, and although Sora knew he had done nothing wrong, remorse seeped into his soul and tortured him, making him regret what he had done and wish he could take it back.

That night Sora left on a bus with a few other student, none of whom he knew, to the airport. He was taking a late night flight with the few bags he had to his parents whom he would see in the morning. He was in a touchy mood and made his goodbyes quick. His day, his whole trip had been ruined. Sora's mixed feelings had taken their toll on the boy, and on the plane ride over, he fell into a deep sleep.

After walking off the plane and picking up his luggage, he waited outside the airport for his parents. It was early in the morning, and within 15 minutes, he saw their car coming down the road. It pulled over to the curb, and Sora climed in.

"Hi honey! How was your trip?"

"We missed you so much!"

"I missed you guys too. It was okay. A long trip."

"You don't sound too good, sweetie. Are you okay?" His mom was always getting worried.

"Yea, I'm fine. I just hope I don't see Kairi while I'm here."

"Oh, sweetie…" Something was wrong.

"I thought you knew… We phoned the school last night…" What was it?

"Last night, Kairi was at her friends house taking a shower and…"

"And what?!?"

"She slipped in the shower. When her head hit the side, she was knocked out. She would have been fine but, oh, honey, I can't tell him." Sora's mom looked to her husband for help.

"She drowned, Sora." Sora was shocked. He had talked to her that night. It must have been right before she got in the shower…right before she died. He was incredulous.

"It cant be true. It isn't!"

"I'm sorry, Sora sweetie." He wouldn't speak for the hour drive home. Sora stared out the window, going over in his mind what had happened. He had known Kairi since forever. He couldn't remember a day before high school when she hadn't been there.

When he got home, Tidus, Wakka and Selphie were waiting for him inside. They all got up and helped him with his baggage, and Slephie gave him a big hug.

"Sora?"

"Thanks. I'm okay." The small girl smiled. And Sora knew that even though something terrible had happened, he had friends that would support him.

Later that evening, Tidus came into Sora's room after the others had gone home.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much…"

"Sora, its okay. Lets talk about something else. How's that new school been going?" Sora smiled. The first person he thought about was Riku. That friendship was what had kept him going during hard times. He wished he could be with Riku now. Tidus listened to Sora talk and talk, watching the tension slip away a Sora talked about happier times. But when Tidus left, the weight of reality pushed him back down into the misery of his tragedy.

Riku had also been falling into the emotional dumps. The absence of Sora left an empty place both physically and mentally. Sora wasn't there when he woke up or went to sleep, he wasn't there during mealtimes. He told himself that he had always been alone before, or with his brother Sephiroth.

That was it! Instead of spending Christmas day alone, he would visit his older brother, who lived in a small cottage on the other side of the campus. He would have to take a bus down there, as it was more than a few miles away. Even though most boarding schools didn't have a bus, this bus made a trip from the school to the small collection of houses the teachers lived in. It was quite similar to a gated community.

Riku had a strange relationship with his brother. He was always trying to compete, always trying to be as good as his brother. At the same time, however, Riku admired his brother. He was, after all, great; in a way, Riku was glad he had such an amazing brother. But Sephiroth had always seemed to overlook his younger brother, until the day when their mother had committed suicide. Riku had been 15, Sephiroth 16. _They had been walking home from school and found their mother hanging from a rope tied to a beam in the ceiling, a chair toppled over under her. Her eyes were popping out, the sight truly gruesome. Sephiroth ran from the room out the front door, and not knowing what else to do, Riku followed. He followed him all the way down to the beach, where Sephiroth collapsed on the sand and started taking off his clothes. Terrified, Riku tried to stop his brother, screaming._

"_Its my fault she did that, Riku. I have to atone…"_

"_It wasn't your fault! I don't want to lose you too!"  
"Then who was it?" Riku was horrified. Who could he stop his brother? He was all he had left._

"_It was me." Now Sephiroth gave Riku a horrified look._

"_Really? You're right… it was you…." Riku couldn't understand Sephiroth. He was acting so strangely, saying such strange things._

"_Seph, lets just go to dad's house. Okay?" Sephiroth nodded. They took the bus to the next town, where their dad lived. He was having dinner with another of the many women he was seeing. The boys just went up to their room._

_Riku took a shower and got in bed. He waited while Seph took a shower. He fell asleep listening to the water from the shower, but woke up when he felt a weight on top of him. Someone was pinning him down._

"_Wha-what?"_

"_You made mother do that. You need to pay for what you've done. It's what she would have wanted." Riku was shocked. What was going to happen to him?_

_Sephiroth pushed his mouth onto Riku's forcing it open and pushing his tongue inside. It was then that Riku noticed his brother was still wet and naked from his shower. Hands found their way down Riku's torso, pulling his shirt off. His tongue licked his way down Riku's neck, biting the white skin every few inches. Although it was his brother doing this to him, Riku couldn't stop himself. He had never felt so good in his life, and he wanted more. He was caught between horror and pleasure._

_Sephiroth took one nipple in his mouth, sucking and licking. He pushed his fingers inside the younger boy's mouth, which was open and wet. He closed his mouth, making them all wet too. He moaned at Sephiroth pulled down his boxers with one hand and lifted one leg over his shoulder. He slipped his other hand, fingers still wet, right under Riku's cock. He grasped it lightly, warm and slippery. Riku gasped and moaned Sephiroth's name. And then, without warning, Sephiroth slammed his length, as far as he could, deep into Riku, who threw his head back and screamed. It was turning into a nightmare. The pain was too much for Riku, more than he wanted. But… if he really did drive his mother to do something like that, then maybe he deserved it. Sephiroth grunted and panted above him, once licking Riku's bottom lip before kissing him again, hard. Riku couldn't stop crying, it hurt so much and felt so good, so wonderfully forbidden. His erection rubbed against Sephiroth's tight stomach. It felt so good. At the same time, he felt as if he were going to break. He welcomed that foreign feeling._

This was the beginning of Riku's obsession.

He stood in front of the tall door oh his brother's house, waiting there for what seemed like forever as night fell. Sephiroth finally came to the door, and when he saw who was there to visit, he smiled.

"Why, its Riku. I haven't seen you in such a long time. Come in." Riku stepped in to the dim room and followed his brother to the couch. He sat down while Sephiroth poured some wine in crystal glasses, handing one to Riku. He took the glass gratefully and sipped. The wine was dark, almost mahogany, and it tasted so good to him.

"So, why did you suddenly show up on Christmas night, hmm? Is it because you wanted to spend it with family? Or because you're lonely without your little friend Sora?" Riku stared guiltily into his glass. He hadn't come to see his brother as often ever since Sora had forced his way into Riku's life. The kid took up so much time, but he had enjoyed every moment of it.

"What does he do to be put in such high priority? Even over me. You do know you'll have to make up for it, Riku." Riku glanced up into Sephiroth's glaring eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

Well, that was kinda sad…. Remember to review! Because… without reviews, I don't think I would be able to live….(which also means I wouldn't be able to write this!! dies) And also, I tried to make this one extra-long. And I updated fast! So please please please reviwew!


	6. Abuse

Disclaimer: I don't own it. :P

Chapter 6: Abuse

10 minutes later, Riku was on the bed, hands chained, naked. His older brother's mouth was pressing delicate kisses over his navel before dipping lower. Riku's body was burning, his desire raging with the knowledge of what was to come. Sephiroth's fingertips traced imaginary patterns over his gleaming skin. He was going to enjoy every moment of this. He watched as Riku arched his back and moaned. But then, Sephiroth looked at the alarm clock on his dresser. Without even looking at Riku, he got up and changed, then left. Riku waited a minute, then tentatively called his name.

"Seph?" No answer.

What had happened? All of that foreplay, and he was gone. But to where? Riku called, shouted his brother's name, but no one came. He stayed awake for hours, despite the late hour, waiting for his brother to come. Nothing had happened like this before. Eventually giving up, Riku went to sleep, still chained to the bed.

The next morning, Riku woke up to someone shaking him and calling his name. Sephiroth had taken away the chains and set out a fresh set of clothes that were a little too big for Riku.

"Get dressed before you come out." Riku put on the clothes and put his ear to the door before walking out. Someone else was there. He had a deep voice, and from what Riku could hear, elegant manners. He stepped out of the door to see his brother and the other man sitting on the couch, being too friendly. He had one hand on Sephiroth's thigh, and his brother had his arm draped over the man's shoulders.

"Riku, meet Xemnas. Xemnas, this is my little brother." Riku immediately felt betrayed. He thought he was the only one who had access to Sephiroth's personal life. He let no one get close to him. And suddenly, it came to Riku. His brother had spent last night with this Xemnas. He had abandoned him right in the middle of that… Riku felt discarded, unwanted. The person that mattered most… he thought that he was his brother's most important person. But now the truth was obvious. He was cheated, lied to. He wasn't special to anyone. A fuck toy for his brother and 'just' a friend for Sora.

Without saying anything, Riku left. After the front door was closed, he ran as fast as he could to the bus stop and waited. He decided to go back to school. He could study or something. Midterms were soon, anyway. But it was a holiday… he just needed something to do to take his mind off recent problems. By the time he got back to school, he resolved to practice sparring with whoever was there. A good workout always got his mind back on track. He could let out some of the pent-up anger, too. At the gym, he changed, then warmed up with a few laps around the gym. He stretched, then was ready to go. Riku was just in time for a lesson, and even though it was for the younger kids, he decided to join in and help when he was needed. After the lesson, the underclassmen were ready to fight, and they all wanted to try beating Riku. Of course, he went through them almost like water, working some until they gave up, disarming others, scoring easy points, and humiliating them all. It soon became understood that Riku was not in the mood to play around.

Just then, two seniors walked in, armed and ready. One of them was eyeing Riku. He knew who they were, often practicing with them. They were part of the few who were in Riku's league. He walked over and greeted them.

"Hey Cloud, Squally." Riku smiled at the couple.

"Its LEON. Get it?"

"Hey Riku! Squally-poo's grumpy today. Teehee" He could tell Cloud was suppressing a giant grin. Both of them loved to tease Leon to his wits end.

"So, you wanna spar or what? First me and you, Riku, then you can do Cloud." He was completely serious, but Cloud burst out laughing.

"And after that, we can have a threesome!" Leon glared at his boyfriend while unconsciously moving between Cloud and Riku. He was very protective of the person he loved, while the other, who was just as devoted at Leon, was more carefree and flirtatious.

"Go on Squally, Rikus waiting." He gave him a kiss on the cheek and pushed his toward the sparring ring.

"I'll watch!" The happy banter of the two lovers put Riku in a better mood. They were so cute together. The thought made Riku just a little jealous of what they had together.

Many hours and lots of sweat later, the three boys were in the locker room taking showers. The sight almost made Riku sick. Seeing Cloud and Leon naked was okay, he didn't really care, but when they flirted, slapping each other on the ass and groping, chasing each other around the shower room, Riku had had enough. He got dressed as quickly as he could to the sound of Cloud squealing. As soon as he left, though, those innocent-enough sounds turned into groans of pleasure. Riku thanked God they cared enough to let him leave before getting too into it.

Riku walked to the dorms, looking for Axel. He wanted to talk to someone about what was going on, and even though Axel could be an ass sometimes, he was trustworthy. He was the only one who knew about what Riku and Sephiroth did when they were alone. First he looked into the dining room, thinking that he would find him shoveling food down. No matter how much he ate, Axel never seemed to gain an ounce of fat on his slim frame. Riku wished he could eat like that. He had to work hard to get the toned muscles he had. But as it turned out, only Zexion was to be found in the dining room.

"You know where Axel is?"

"Try his room. He went up there 10 minutes ago." Riku sighed and went upstairs. He didn't bother to knock before walking in. he didn't know it yet, but he would soon regret that. Axel was, strangely enough, in bed, even though it was only 3 in the afternoon.

"Hey, Axel, I need to talk to you."

"Uh, sure. What's up?" He didn't move, so Riku sat down on a chair by the bed.

"Its about Seph."

"Ohh, what is it this time?" Riku looked at Axel. The way he gave a little moan unnerved him a little.

"Well, I went over there yesterday for Christm—"

"Ahhh, ohh." Axel cut him off with not so quiet moans.

"Axel, what the hell." Suddenly, a blond head popped out from under the blanket.

"Oh, you stopped…"

"Roxas, is that you??" Roxas nodded and blushed, too embarrassed to say anything. They had been keeping their relationship secret for months, and this was not how he had planned to let people know. Riku stared, and then laughed. It seemed like he only saw happy couples today. He wanted that so, so badly. Something normal and happy. It was life was taunting him.

"Well, I guess I'll let you guys…. Finish up." Roxas turned a brighter pink, if it was possible, and disappeared under the sheets again. Just great. Roxas used to be a little shy, but now it looked like he either wasn't shy at all or really wanted Axel.

Riku walked down the hall and snuggled up in a chair with his book. Despite everything going wrong, he decided he was going to laugh in life's face and not care. Because if he didn't do that, he would cry.

Several minutes later, Axel came into the room. He was still wet from taking a shower. Without saying anything, he walked over to Riku, set a big bowl of ice-cream and cookies in his hands, and plopped down in the other chair. Riku could always count on Axel for knowing just what he needed to feel better. He grabbed the spoon and started shoveling in the ice-cream.

"So, you were over at Seph's house yesterday. What happened?"

"We, ahh, you know. Almost." Axel gave Riku a look.

"You know I wish you wouldn't do that, but there's something else. Tell me."

"Well, he started to, and I was even chained to the bed," Axel winced, "but then he just left. Like he totally forgot I was even there."

"That's… weird." Riku started to tear up, and then began eating the cookies.

"And the next morning, he came back, untied me, and left again. When I walked out of his room, there was a man. Xemnas." Axel was shocked. He knew Sephiroth must be crazy, but he didn't know that the man was totally heartless. Tears streamed down Riku's cheeks. Axel got up and gave Riku a hug and patted him on the head like a little kid.  
"Riku, maybe this is it. You need to let go of him, and get on with your life. He isn't good for you."

"But…"

"I know it hurts. It hurts to see this happen to my best friend." They were like that for a moment, Axel with his arms around Riku. It made him feel better. Maybe he did need to move on.

"There's someone else, isn't there. A little blue-eyed boy." Riku looked up at Axel and blushed.

"Is it really that obvious?" Riku sounded like a teenage girl. He was getting all exited, his still damp eyes bright. Axel laughed.

"Just look at you! Of course it is. I'm amazed he can't see it. Both of you are pretty dense. Riku giggled.

"And, he's coming back tomorrow! I can't wait to see him!"

The next day, Riku talked the teacher into letting him go down to the airport to meet his little friend. Riku waited and waited for what seemed like forever. Finally, the plane was announced over the speaker, and people started filing out of a hallway. It took a while for students of DBA to start coming out of the plane, as they were all seated together, and even longer till Riku saw Sora. But when he did! Rikus heart jumped into his throat, and butterflies that had been still sprang to life in his stomach. Then Riku noticed the dejected air around Sora. The boy's head was down, shoulders slumped. And when his head rose ever so slightly, the boy's eyes were dark, the color of the sea in a storm. It seemed as if that same sea could pour out of his eyes at any minute; they were brimming with tears. They locked onto Riku's, and with a sharp cry, the boy dropped his luggage and ran over to Riku. Riku didn't know exactly what to do. There was a sobbing boy in his arms, and he was aware of the many people staring at the scene. But he knew he couldn't hold back; he wrapped his arms tightly around Sora and squeezed.  
"It's alright. I'm here now" Riku said soothingly. He caressed the boy's head. Sora hiccupped and stood back from Riku, wiping his eyes. He gave Riku a hopeless smile and retrieved his bags, which were causing a commotion in the middle of the hallway. By now, they were no longer being stared at, although a group of girls kept glancing at them and giggling to themselves.

An hour later the bus arrived at the school. Regular classes were going to start the next day, and most of the boys wanted to have fun. Sora, however, quietly made his way back to the dorms, Riku in his wake.

"So, how was your trip? Did you have fun?" Sora ignored Riku's feeble attempt to start up a conversation. Riku had to tell himself not to be hurt, that they boy had probably gone through something terrible, id it had affected him this much. Riku resigned to follow in silence until they got upstairs.

"I'm going to take a shower now." It was the first thing Sora had said, and Riku got the hint that he wanted to be left alone for the moment. It was confusing; first he jumped into his arms, and now his wanted nothing to do with him. Riku sighed and waited once again, this time outside the bathroom door. Half an hour later Sora came out, dripping wet. He didn't bother to glance at Riku, but walked to the bedroom without a word and closed the door. Riku got up to leave, and opened the front door. He could talk some other time, when Sora felt like it. Then, through the door, he heard faintly:

"Don't go. I'm sorry. I want to talk to you."

Well. I tried to make it longer, but I don't think I succeeded. Tell me what you thought, okay? I need to know if its worth taking time to write this…


	7. First Blushes of Love

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

Chapter 7: First Blushes of Love

Sora got dressed. He had been so relieved to see Riku at the airport, so in need of his support. And without thinking, he had acted like that… must have been embarrassing for Riku. Sora mentally chastised himself for doing something so stupid. He could tell Riku must be a little miffed, cause he didn't want to wait for Sora. But then he had asked him to stay. Sora thought that it would be okay if he talked to Riku in private, away from the prying. He hoped that he wouldn't be mad anymore. Actually, when Sora heard the door click shut, he hadn't been able to tell if Riku had left or not.

Sora tentatively opened the door, eyes darting around the room, searching for Riku. He could see the sliver hair over the top of the chair.

"Riku?" The older boy turned, eyes peeking over the top of the chair, smiling. Sora sighed with relief and plopped down in the other chair. He could see behind Riku's smiling facade; there was a hint of worry in the depths of his eyes. Sora found himself getting lost in his eyes, and found it hard to concentrate. He had been gone for what seemed like such a long time, and he had forgotten how Riku had a magnetic pull. Sora's eyes wandered down to Riku's perfect lips, slightly parted.

"Sora? Are you okay?" The music of Riku's velvet voice washed over Sora.

"Oh… Oh!" Sora jerked out of his daze. He noticed the worry in Riku's face had become more apparent. This brought forward in Sora's mind the reason why he had needed to talk to Riku, and with it, a deep sadness. Sora's face fell and grew more melancholy as he began to tell Riku about what had happened. A look of horror formed on Riku's perfect features. His own problems paled in comparison to the things that had happened to Sora. Halfway through the story, Sora began again to cry. The feelings of hopelessness came back to him. He felt guilty, as if what had happened to her had been his fault, as if, somehow, she had died because he accused her of cheating on him. He wished he had never said anything, and he wished, above all else, that she could still be alive. After explaining all of this, dumping this on Riku, he saw that Riku's look of pity was tinged with disgust.  
"But… after what she did to you… you can't think that! She was horrible." Riku seemed mad that he felt this way. It was not the response Sora had been expecting. Something more supportive, maybe. Riku saw the downcast look Sora gave him and immediately explained.

"It just because I don't want to see you hurt anymore. It hurts me, to see you like this. So please, for me, try to be happy" Riku pleaded. This answer touched Sora. He knew then that Riku was really his good friend, someone he could rely on no matter what. It took all Riku had to keep from kissing the younger boy. He was so sweet and innocent, clean and pure. The opposite of what Riku was himself.

"Promise me. Don't think about her at all. You have me now." And even though Riku leant forward when he said this, rose his hand to run his fingertips along Sora's cheekbone, Sora had no idea what Riku was trying to tell him. And not knowing how else to tell Sora that he liked, even loved him, Riku gave up trying to tell him in such a subtle manner. The mood was totally different now. No trace of sadness or despair could be seen. Sora felt his heart pounding faster as Riku leaned toward him. His breath came quickly. Suddenly an irrational fear overcame him; he thought Riku might be able to hear his heart. But instead of being kissed, Sora felt Rikus warm breath tickle his ear.

"Promise me, Sora." He inhaled sharply.

"I… I promise" he stuttered. Riku just smiled smoothly and gracefully walked away.

Sora was left all alone. Riku had succeeded in not only drying his tears but making him think- or maybe imagine- things he had never thought of before. Why had he thought Riku was going to kiss him? It made no sense at all. He had never felt that way before with anyone; never felt his heart pound in his chest. It felt like it could have run away. That rush of adrenaline began to slow, and Sora tried to think things out. Why did he feel like that? And even if he did, would he act upon that feeling? He knew he couldn't, or at least shouldn't. it was obvious how Riku felt about him. A friend, that's all. Sora was surprised he hadn't started hyperventilating. Those moments had confused and exited him all at once. He wanted to tell Roxas. After all, they did tell each other everything. Roxas had even explained in detail how his relationship with Axel progressed. And their first kiss… Sora thought about it wistfully. His first had been nothing special. It had been with some girl, and he had later wondered why people so fondly recalled their first kiss. It had seemed silly then. But now, imagining himself with Riku… it would be amazing. Ehh, but what was he thinking. That kind of thing with Riku was merely the stuff of dreams.

Sora was now in the hall outside of Roxas' room. He knocked, got no answer, but just as he was going to turn around and leave he heard a knock. Sora decided to open then door. But as he did, he regretted the choice. He saw Roxas on top of Axel on the bed. And eve through they were both fully clothed, Axel had his hand up Roxas' shirt, making him moan and tremble in pleasure. Sora let out a half gasp half scream and raced downstairs. Riku was running upstairs, and caught Sora in his arms.

"What is it?"

"They.. Axel… Roxas…" The shock on Sora's face gave away what he had seen. Riku chuckled and led the boy downstairs.

"Don't let that bother you. Its not the last time you'll be seeing it, I bet." Sora stared at Riku, eyes wide, mouth agape. It seemed there was a lot he had to learn about relationships. What if he and Riku did that? What would it feel like? He wanted to know. Sora stared off into space, every once in a while glancing involuntarily at Riku's rosebud lips.

He went through the rest of the day like this, caught in a dream-like state. It was obvious to those around him that something was up, even if they couldn't tell exactly what it was. At dinner he didn't join in the chatter like usual. It was actually a rather quiet night, with Sora staring at Riku, Riku deep in his own thoughts, and Zexion being his naturally taciturn self. Axel was left wondering what was going on.

The next day was the same. Roxas tried to ask Sora about his out-of-the-ordinary mood during their first break, but didn't get enough time. Finally, when lunch came around, Roxas stole Sora from some of the older boys and brought him to a secluded area where they could talk without fear of interruption.

"What's up with you lately? You haven't been paying attention in class; you need people to call you twice to get your attention. What's wrong?" He questioned.

"Oh, nothing… it must be that I'm still in vacation mode."

"That's what I thought at first to but, it's something else. I'm sure of it."

"No, there's nothing else." Just then Riku and a few other upperclassmen walked by. Or rather, there were a few boys following Riku, practically worshiping him like a God, and at the same time, demanding answers to the latest gossip.

"Is it true that you and Zexion are going out? That you met late last night in the library?"

Others tried to be more suave. "You wanna go out next weekend, Riku baby? I know of a great club…" The mob was led away by Riku's quick steps, followed by Sora's wide eyes. Wide with jealousy and tinged with anger.

"Ahhh. I get it. It's Riku." Roxas smirked.

"It- it isn't!" Sora blushed a furious red.

"Something must have happened over Christmas break," here Roxas saw Sora's face fall when he mentioned it, "and I know it has to do with Riku."

"Well.. when was the first time you kissed a guy?" Roxas looked surprised, but answered anyway.

"I was 13, and a boy in my class confessed to me, and then he kissed me." Sora looked like he was taking careful mental notes.

"Does it feel the same as kissing a girl?"

"Well, I don't know. I've always been attracted to only boys. I've never kissed a girl before." Sora looked at him in amazement.

"Have you ever done it with a guy?" Sora didn't even hesitate anymore. But this time, Roxas did.

"You mean…"

"Have sex. With a guy. Do you know how it feels?"

"U-uh. You'll have to find out on your own" Roxas stuttered and looked away, Sora thought, remembering what he and Axel had done. They talked some more about kissing, and Sora explained how he had suddenly wanted to kiss Riku. And Roxas came up with a plan.

"Tonight, after he goes to bed, you can do it. Kiss him when he's asleep." Sora loved the idea, and decided that that night he would do it. He was almost hopping with anticipation. The boring fifth hour of class slowly ticked by, second by second, until gym came around. Sora was looking forward to expelling some of the pent-up energy.

He got there and dressed early, and was out of the locker room before everyone else. He silently went through drills by himself, warming up. He was so focused on getting the movements right that he jumped when Sephiroth, his instructor, came up from behind.

"Sora. Bend your knees more. Hole your hand higher. Is the weight too much for you? Poor thing." Sephiroth's sarcastic words cut Sora almost as if he had really been wounded. He didn't know what he had done wrong to deserve such reprimand.

By the end of class, Sora was almost in tears. He had tried so hard, but Sephiroth would not let him rest, cruel remarks flying the whole time. He changed and showered as quickly as he could, almost running back to the dorms. Although the exercise had cleared his mind, for the most part, of thoughts of Riku, he was stung with the verbal abuse given. However, he had only a few hours until it would be time to sleep, and he couldn't wait.

All throughout dinner Sora was glancing at Riku expectantly. Riku couldn't figure out what was going on. But it ended soon enough, and they were both in bed. Riku asleep, Sora pretending. Slowly, so as not to make the springs in the mattress creak, Sora stood and tiptoed over to Riku's bed. He was lying on his back, the perfect opportunity for Sora. He leaned over, a shiver gracing his bared skin, and delicately pressed his lips to Riku's.

Okay, I don't know what to say. Other than, thank you for reviewing! It means a lot to me, and keeps me writing :D


	8. Misery

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 8: Misery

Warning: Contains rape.

Riku felt soft lips press against his. He smelled Sora's sweet scent, making his head light. And although his heart quickened, he made sure that Sora wouldn't be able to tell he was awake; he couldn't understand why he would do this. After all, he was the one who had a crush on Sora. And he had had a girlfriend. What had happened to that? Riku decided this must be his way of dealing with the pain, however strange it was. And he wouldn't confront him about it. Riku was sure that this would soon pass.

But a week later, nothing had changed. Sora had kissed him every night- and Riku hadn't done anything to let Sora know that he was awake. Although, every night Sora got out of bed and kissed Riku, it became harder and harder for him to stop from deepening the kiss, or reaching out and touching the boy. Every time Sora came near him, the sweet scent of the boy nearly drove Riku crazy. The tension of need filled Riku's stomach at the thought.

It was unfortunate that Riku was pondering this during training. Cloud easily scored his third point, ending the bout. Leon, being the referee, walked over to Riku and asked if he was alright. It was unusual for this to happen. Usually he could effortlessly win. Then again, usually his mind was clear.

"I'm fine, Squally. I'm just not thinking straight." The boys that had come to watch after their last period sat along the sidelines, whispering and giggling at the nickname. If any one of them had dared to call Leon that, they would have gotten a sound wack on the head. This, Riku thought, was not the time to be distracted. He had already embarrassed himself; not only his brother was there coaching, but Sora was there too. Riku fought down humiliation. The next bout between him and Cloud started, and within the first 10 minutes, Cloud had scored another two points. After the last one, Sora had shouted something meant to be encouraging; it only distracted Riku further. Most of the younger boys had already left, and now only Sora and Roxas were left. Riku had a feeling Roxas only stayed because Sora had asked him to, otherwise he would have gone back to his dorm long ago. Cloud scored yet another point, the third one. Sephiroth got up angrily, almost shouting with ill hidden rage in his voice.

"What do you think you're doing? I stay down here late, for you and your team to practice and this is all you can do?" Riku had a sinking feeling Sephiroth knew exactly why he had his head in the clouds. He would give anything for al those other boys to be here to watch this instead of Sora.  
"I…" but Riku had no excuse. His cheeks were a bright pink with mortification.

"Class dismissed" Sephiroth stated, not turning to look at the other boys. They, including Sora, fled, fearing Sephiroth's wrath. Soon the brothers were the only people left in the gym.

"Come with me" Sephiroth gripped Riku's arm and roughly dragged him into the locker room, throwing him down on the tiled floor.  
"You are obsessed with that stupid boy Sora. You can't think or act if he is in the room. I'm surprised you remember to breathe." His voice was quiet and cold with fury. But Riku was shocked. Hadn't he had a boyfriend?

"But you… that Xemnas." Riku spat the name at Sephiroth.

"Oh, so you didn't like how if felt, did you?" Sephiroth smirked. And suddenly Riku understood. His brother hadn't been serious about that. He wanted to make Riku jealous as he was. And it had worked.

Sephiroth ripped Riku's shirt over his head and started in on his pants zipper. He shivered, letting his brother run his hands over his body. Involuntarily, he shivered. His pants were jerked off, and then his boxers. Sephiroth straddled his hips, quickly stripping his shirt and pants. Riku noticed he hadn't been wearing boxers. Fingers were roughly pushed into his mouth, and out of habit, almost, he sucked hard. This had happened so many times before. He was the only person Riku had ever been intimate with. He felt his tongue on the underside of his head, warm and wet. Riku caught a gasp.

"Ahh.. ah…" and then it felt wrong. Disgusting.

"No… stop…" Riku struggled, trying to get away from his brothers' iron grip, which only tightened. His eyes flashed wide with fear. He tried to scream, but there was a hand clamped around his mouth.

"Don't make a sound." The voice was calm and smooth.

Sephiroth had wet his cock with Riku's spit. He spread Riku's legs wide open, positioning himself. Riku attempted to cover himself, to close his legs, but he couldn't move. He didn't want this. He knew that, after this, he would never be able to get close to Sora; he would be dirty. Sephiroth slammed his hard cock into him, roughly pulled himself out almost all the way, and slammed in again. Riku protested between moans. Because, although it was dirty, even though it hurt, it felt so good. He knew it shouldn't; rape should never feel good. But he moaned again and came early, his essence hot against his brother's stomach. Sephiroth was no where near done. He was making it last as long as possible. As his body moved with the violent thrusting, Riku hoped that this would be the last time. Sephiroth now pulled out, although he hadn't cum yet. Riku was turned over, now on his knees. Sephiroth pushed his head down to the cold floor, again entering without warning. Riku loathed such a demeaning position, the one that Sephiroth liked most, the one he had eagerly gotten into before. Abruptly, Sephiroth cried out in ecstasy, coming at last inside him. He leaned over Riku, kissing him on the back of his neck before getting up and dressing, silently. That kiss burned Riku. Pain shot through him, and the reality of what had been done was clear.

Only then did he hear the rain pouring down outside. He dragged himself to the shower, not being able to stand, and turned on the scalding water. He wanted to wash away his memory with a different type of pain. And there, all alone, blackness swallowed him.

I know it was short, but, I couldn't add anything. The next chapter should be up sooner than usual.


End file.
